We cannot definitely say who finally was the "boss" in the marriage, the husband or the wife. It probably was the same as it is today.
The emancipated woman is an achievement only during the the last few decades. I is possible that there were matriarchal cultures hundreds or thousands of years ago, but we do not notice it in the last few centuries. Only the superstition of witches and the believe in wise women let us sense a little bit of their influence in society.
Even at birth a boy, especially a first-born son, was more welcome than a daughter. The son was the longed-for
heir. The daughter could be the heir as well but only if there were no other male relative.
In some regions 4 horses were harnessed when the family took the son to be baptized. For the daughter there were
only 2 horses harnessed.
Later it was taken for granted that oldest daughters stayed at home to care for their younger siblings while the brothers could attend school (even though the farmer's boys didn't approve of this)
The women's work capacity was as important as the men's work as half of all jobs belonged to women. Women also endured hard, physical work as thrashing.
After the era where parents chose their son or daughter's partners for them, for social and property reasons, young people began to gain more rights to choose their own partners.
Young man created their own gifts to their prospective wives, decorating tools such as rakes,
washboards, weaving boards, distaffs, etc.
During early wedding ceremonies people could recognize from the head decoration (closed or open crown or wreath)
whether the bride was still a virgin. A woman who had premarital sex was not
respectable any more, but on the other hand it was preferred to "test" a woman to see if she could bear
children. It seemed better to marry a pregnant bride as to marry an unfertile woman. It was the woman's fault when a couple could not have children.
Sometimes a woman became pregnant without having a husband. In some cases the child's father would marry
the woman but the couple did not recieve an allowance from their owner (government or lord), which happened often in the
villages that were owned by a lord. An illegitimate child was shameful. Some vicars even stressed an illegitimate birth
(Hurkind) in the baptism register by writing the entry upside down.
Illegitimate children would recieve their father's name if the father of the child was known. Often these poor children did not
survive their first few weeks and it may have been because of neglect as the child's mother had to continue with her
hard work. At times intentional neglect was aimed to be rid of the child.
Illegitimate children whose parents married later or who were allowed to marry had the same chances of survival as
legitimate children.
In Schaumburg-Lippe it was usual for a child to live with the mother for a few months to one year and then be raised on the father's farm.
The children could inherit their statutory portion after the father's death.
Unmarried persons who were registered as sponsors in the
Leussow records were always called son or daughter of father "X". From the moment
of her marriage on a woman belonged to her husband and was called wife of husband "X".
In the very old entries of the Leussow church records between 1670 and 1690, female baptism sponsors bear just their personal
name without any hint to a father or a husband. But to estimate this as a hint to a certain self-conciousness
of the women I doubt. In the neighborhood parish of Conow a female sponsor was never named in such an independant way.
There it was usual to avoid the mother's second name in the birth entry entirely until about 1730. It is possible that the
Leussow vicar was short of paper and ink and tried to shorten the entry.
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We cannot definitely say who finally was the "boss" in the marriage, the husband or the wife. It probably was the same as it is today. |
A woman usually married very soon after if her first husband died. If the widow had small children she was not
obliged to wait the year of mourning.
As long as his young children had to be cared for, also widowers always tried to marry again soon.
The second husband would take over the farm as "Interimswirt" (tenant in-between) until an heir from her first marriage
was old enough to take over the farm. If there were no children from her first marriage survived children from a following
marriage, children from her following marriage could be heirs.
For the Interimswirte such a marriage was quite interesting because a younger farmer's son could marry and have a
family as well instead of working as a farmhand all his life. When he retired he recieved "Altenteil".
Remarriage was also good for young women who were either younger daughters or who had poor parents. A widower with
young or even no children was interested in a young and strong woman who could work hard and be able to bear children.
Her dowry was not so important any more.
It happened quite often that there was a large difference of age between a couple maybe 20 or 30 years. For the
younger partner it was probable that the older partner would die soon and the
surviving partner could marry again, this time marrying a younger partner, and - for a man - to have his own children.
It was seldom that a widow stayed unmarried. Only when the eldest son was nearly old enough
to inherit the farm would a woman be in charge of the farm on her own.
An elderly widower did not have to marry again when there were enough female workers on the farm such as daughters,
daughters-in-law or farmmaids. Sometimes an elderly widower married an elderly woman, quite often a widow as well, because
he would be cared for and there was no danger that more children would be born.
When men and women died their burial costs were the same.
Some customs for women in South Mecklenburg varied compared to other regions. For example men were responsible for the organizstion of some festivities while in the Southwest it was unmarried young girls who had this responsibility.
Until the 20th century women did not work outside their own household or farm. They only worked on the family farm or workshop and cared for their children. Unmarried women worked as farm hands or housemaids.
A usual work day on the farm last 12 to 14 hours and during the harvest women often had to work 17 to 18
hours a day.
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Women were responsible for about half of all work. They planted and harvested onions and potatoes, bundled sheaves during the grain harvest, assisted in making hay, cared for the garden, attended to the laundry, sewed, mended, spinned and weaved. Only sometimes weaving was done by men. Women also fed the poultry and quite often the pigs as well,milked the cows, prepared meals, baked bread, assisted to butcher meat, filled and cared for the pantry and made candles and soap. |
When women finished their hard work of the day they had to care for the household. They would sit mending clothes deep into the night, falling asleep in their chair.
Dat is ok ne Kunst, säd de oll Frau, dunn hadd sei den Flicken neben dat Lock sett.
"That is an art in itself", the old woman would say as she set a patch next to the hole.
The laundry was done in a tub which stood on a three-legged stool. It was filled with clothes that were
covered with a cloth. Beech ash was poured over this cloth and then water was added. First cold water then warm and at
last hot water was poured over the ash. When the clothes soaked for a time, the soapy water was drained
through an opening in the lower part of the tub. A paddle-shaped pole was used to keep the laundry from
blocking the opening.
The soapy water was saved, heated once more and poured over the ash again. This procedure was repeated for
12 to 24 hours.
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After the cleaning the laundry was rinsed in running water (a creek or river was ideal - must have been terrible in
winter!). The clean laundry was then wrought out and hung or laid on the ground to be bleached by the sun.
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Over the centuries the garden became more and more important to supply the family with food.
Men and women both turned over the soil, but the other work of the garden was the women's duty.
The garden was divided into small parcels and vegetables were planted such as cabbage, beans, peas,
onions and later potatoes. Cucumbers, carrots and lettuce were introduced around the year 1900.
During the 17th century the government gave orders to plant fruit trees to supply the people with
surplus food. Apple and plum trees dominated during the following centuries, supplied by pear trees, while cherry, peach and walnut trees were introduced around the 19th century.
Women also cultivated herbs in their gardens such as parsley, dill, thyme, mint and sage.
At the end of the 19th century farm women began planting simple and easy-to-care-for flowers.
Vegetables and fruits were used fresh or dried. Vegetables was also salted. They made "Sauerkraut" from
white cabbage.
Dried fruit ("Backobst") was sold in the towns as well.
After the 19th century with the invention of beet sugar, the production of jam and sweet preserved
fruit was introduced.
Preparation of the meals was also the work of women.
Before potatoes were invented around 1730 and became very important not before the 19th century, people ate porridge, vegetables (mainly cabbage) but only seldom meat.
Hot pots (Mangkakt Äten) could be easily prepared in advance and could be warmed up several times for meals. The time that the women
saved could be used for other work.
You can find more about the food on the page
"Eating and Drinking" .
Because there usually was no baker in a village women had to bake their own bread.
Not every farm had their own baking oven so several families shared one oven, baking only
once a week.
It was the duty of the men to heat the oven. The fire was lit at about 3 o'clock a.m. and the baking would begin about 6 a.m..
The women brought the prepared loafs of bread in a particular order. To distuingish the loafs as hers, every woman marked
her loafs with a special sign or letter.
For a long period people only knew hard and coarse rye bread. White and wheat bread was served only on holidays.
Cake baking began around the year 1900. After having finished with bread baking women used the remaining heath
in the oven to bake pot cake or plate cake
("Platenkuchen"). They were baked first only on holidays and later also on Sundays.
Women's health was never an issue, not even during pregnancy. The wives of the
day laborers and wives from small farms ("Häusler") were disadvantaged by the wives from larger farms who spent the last three months before giving birth inside the home. It was called the "quiet
time". Poorer mother's-to-be had to work as usual right up until birth. Sometimes their children were born while thy were working in the fields.
Poorer women had to start working again only after 6 days, while other farmer's wives could rest for about
two weeks before appearing outside again.
Special customs in different regions depended on popular belief and superstition.
Because of the hard physical work during pregnancy, no medical supplies and bad hygienic conditions many women
died in childbirth along with their newborns.
Women used to suckle or brest feed their children often for one year after the birth of their baby. In former days
the time between births was about 2 to 3 years while around the year 1800 babies were born about every year. Women seemed to have more and more children during a shorter period of time so the custom of suckling for a longer period of time vanished. Even more children died young than before.
Daily work for women was more of a priority than caring for their babies. When a mother had to work in the field she tried to leave the child with a grandmother
or older siblings.
Dat is Jungheit, säd de oll Frau, dunn sprüng sei äwer'n Strohhalm.
("That is youth!" the old woman said and jumped over a straw.)
If there was not anyone to help, the mother had to take her child with her to work.
Besides breast feeding the children were fed adult food very early in life. This is one reason for
the high infant mortality. There was not enough time to prepare special food or give adequate care of the children.
It was important to teach children modesty, good manners and respect for parents and elderly persons.
Wir könnten wie Brüder leben, sagte der Junge, aber der Olle will ja nich.
(We could live together like brothers," said the boy, "but my old man doesn't want to.")
A very close relationship between children and parents was not intended. Children had to become indepent very early in life.
Dem Ollen is nich zu trauen, sagte der Junge, da hielt der Vater den Stock hinterm Rücken.
("I can't trust my old man", the boy said when his father hid a rod behind his back.)
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School began for children at the age of about 6 years and ended at about 14 years at the latest. During thesummer there was very often
no school because the children had to help with work. |
Besideslearning to help in the household, girls also had to care for the poultry. Often they missed school because
they had to care for their younger brothers and sisters.
After confirmation at about 14 years of age young people had to work like adults. They either worked as
farm hands on the parent's farm or on other farms.
The time of butchering meant much more work but in spite of it everyone looked forward to having much more food. It meant more fresh meat instead of the usual salted or smoked meat.
Butchering usually took place in the winter shortly before Christmas and once again in February.
In former times the farmer used to do the butchering himself or he was assisted by a skilled neighbor. Later a professional
butcher used to travel village to village.
A pig was killed and boiling water was poured over it. The skin was carefully scraped and the pig
was divided in half. The pig halvess were hung up outside to cool down and then the butcher seperated the meat. Part of the pig was set aside to be used immediately and the remaining part was divided up for ham, bacon, sausages and to be salted.
Men cut the sausage meat roughly but the women finely ground it to prepare the sausage dough.
| People produced smoked pork sausages, liver and lung sausages. After having filled the cleaned bowels with the dough the sausages were boiled and/or smoked. | 
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Caring for the poultry has always been the women's job. On large farms a farm maid would care for the poultry otherwise it
was the duty of the farmer's wife or an older daughter.
During the summer chickens could find enough food to eat outside, but during the winter they had to be fed.
The geese were minded by young boys during the summer.
Butchering and plucking feathers was again women's work. Women also sorted the feathers for stuffing
pillows and duvets.
Pigs were cared for mostly by the women as well. The pigs were fed potatoes, rubbish from the kitchen and
dishwater. In autumn pigs were, if possible, driven to the forests to fatten up for themselves.
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Feeding and milking the cows was the women's duty along with producing butter and cheese. Sometimes women could sell the surplus of eggs, butter and cheese and keep the money for themselves. |
Scource for "Women's Work" : Becker/Lübeck/Schweikert, Aus der Arbeit der mecklenburgischen Landfrau, Historisches Museum Schwerin 1989, from the english version "The Life of a Farm Woman", ed. by C.G.Bowen